Seeking A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem!
Death is for many of us the gate of hell; but we are inside on the way out, not outside on the way in.
George Bernard Shaw
I have seen the effects of seeking a permanent solution to what is, in reality, a temporary problem, firsthand. A boy who spent nearly as much time in my home as he did in his own because of his close friendship with my children, took his own life as a teenager. I suffered guilt in addition to sorrow for a very long time, wondering if there was not something I should have seen or done which could have prevented not only this tragedy but the resultant heartache suffered by his family (both blood as well as friends). It took me many years to realize that there was nothing about this that I could have prevented. And owning up to that one statement does NOT make me feel any relief! What it does is make me wonder what kind of pain and suffering would drive any person to the brink of the abyss. What could possibly cause a person to feel such despondency that they could find no other way to escape their pain and hurt?
“Suicide: Read This First“, was written by Martha Ainsworth and can be read in its entirety by clicking on the following link: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/. She is not a therapist nor is she a counselor, What she is, is someone who has walked in the shoes of those who feel driven to this state. Her article is well worth reading in its entirety and I hope that you do so. It is geared to someone who is at the brink. It is intended to give hope and to keep someone alive just one more minute. And if that one minute leads to a second and a third and a fourth, perhaps the person feeling so helpless will be given the strength to step back and to seek the help that is available out there, if they but ask!
I am sharing one section, in particular, that I think is a MUST read. I hope you agree with me. I hope you are given some insight into a problem that is currently the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. And I hope you will never feel as I did so many years ago because, in all honesty, remembering that day causes me as much pain today, as it did then. Suicide knows no age, gender, sexual orientation, religious affiliation or nationality. It is, in fact, a totally preventable world-wide epidemic if we but think about it and talk about it. It’s time to face the problem head on!
“5 Things To Think About“
You need to hear that people do get through this — even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
- Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things – just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
- People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
- Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about theirfears, not about you.But there arepeople out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:
- Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans (firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)
- (In Australia, call Lifeline Australia at telephone: 13 11 14
- Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
- Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
- Call a psychotherapist
- Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
- Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.
written by Rowland Jide Macaulay
Rowland Jide Macaulay, LLB, MTh, FACT is a Christian Theologian, openly gay, a dynamic and an inspirational speaker, poet, pastor and preacher, Human Rights Consultant, the author of “Poetry Inspired” published in the UK 2001, founder/Project Director of House Of Rainbow Fellowship Worldwide, holds a degree in law and MA Practical Theology.
Today, I pray, Lord, bind the spirit of suicide in our community; we ask you Lord to meet those thinking of taking their own lives because of pressure of sexuality; show each one your love through your words and the people around them; surprise us Lord.
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Call someone; let them know that you care and love them dearly.
a note from Rowland
I agree to re-publication of this message/prayer. Too often the mental health and well-being of LGBT people (is) ignored. I am swamp(ed) with many young people in despair of their lives…especially those in Africa and of African descent (who have access to House of Rainbow and myself). They are worried about “coming out”, how to reconcile with being gay/lesbian, and (the effect on) their faith and family. The height of desperation is mindblowing…to the point many have told me they are thinking of suicide as an option.
You may e-mail Rowland at the following: email@example.com
You may follow Rowland’s writings at the following: http://revrowlandjidemacaulay.blogspot.com/
6 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day —and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
2 Timothy 4: 6-8 NIV
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