Thought For The Day 12/09/12

Standard

A Permanent Solution

to a 

Temporary Problem

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Drew

“Drew”

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To  run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the  suicide braves death, he does it not for some noble object but to escape some  ill.

Aristotle

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/suicide.html

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Our family recently witnessed another November’s passing without being able to share it with someone we loved very dearly. Andrew, Drew for short, is not here because for a brief moment that has become all of eternity, he lost his way! Above is a picture taken of him on the day of his prom in 1996.

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He was as much a part of our family as were our own God-given offspring. We joked frequently that Drew spent as much time, if not more, in our home as he did in his own. To this day his mother and I are friends on Facebook, the miles a barrier to more personal interaction, and we exchange news along with Christmas cards. I have shared with her the things Drew will never know…..the growing of her grandchildren (Drew’s nephews), one whose face is like looking in a mirror at the face of the little boy I had loved so much! And Drew will never know Landon, his nephew if not by birth, then by love! All because he chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem!

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Oh but there were some magic words we could say……but there are none. The thing is that most people who choose this end really do not want to die. What they want is to stop hurting! And whether or not you understand the pain they feel, it is and always will be profoundly significant to them….so all-consuming, in fact, that they feel that there is no other alternative left but to try to numb a heart that is hurting. And whether the choice they make is to employ either a temporary or a permanent anesthetic to do the numbing, it is the those who love them and are left behind to pick up the pieces, that really suffer from that fateful decision! Now Romans 8:28 NIV says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, but I doubt any of us believe for a single moment that the permanent solution of suicide, serves His purpose for anyone’s life!

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At this time of the year when the rate of both despondency and suicide rises, remember that help is no more than a single step, a single prayer or a single friend away. Whether it be physical pain or emotional pain, the word of God can be a comfort for  those that truly seek a measure of comfort. Hebrews 2:18 says For  because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are  being tempted. And yes, while there can be comfort in His word, sometimes the time comes to employ some measures that are from the wisdom and mind of man.

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For those of you who are interested, I am sharing a list of some things that has been published by the Mayo Clinic, that we each can do to help! They are measures that everyone is capable of (and no, you do not need special training) until the time when professional help can be obtained. We are all capable of defusing a potentially life altering  situation. Who knows…..you might just find yourself the permanent solution to someone’s temporary problem!

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  • Encourage the person to seek treatment. Someone who is suicidal or has severe depression may not have the energy or motivation to find help. If your friend or loved one doesn’t want to consult a doctor or mental health provider, suggest finding help from a support group, crisis center, faith community, teacher or other trusted person. You can help by offering support and advice — but remember that it’s not your job to become a substitute for a mental health provider.
  • Offer to help the person take steps to get assistance and support. For example, you can research treatment options, make phone calls and review insurance benefit information, or even offer to go with the person to an appointment.
  • Encourage the person to communicate with you. Someone who’s suicidal may be tempted to bottle up feelings because he or she feels ashamed, guilty or embarrassed. Be supportive and understanding, and express your opinions without placing blame. Listen attentively and avoid interrupting.
  • Be respectful and acknowledge the person’s feelings. Don’t try to talk the person out of his or her feelings or express shock. Remember, even though someone who’s suicidal isn’t thinking logically, the emotions are real. Not respecting how the person feels can shut down communication.
  • Don’t be patronizing or judgmental. For example, don’t tell someone, “things could be worse” or “you have everything to live for.” Instead, ask questions such as, “What’s causing you to feel so bad?” “What would make you feel better?” or “How can I help?”
  • Never promise to keep someone’s suicidal feelings a secret. Be understanding, but explain that you may not be able to keep such a promise if you think the person’s life is in danger. At that point, you have to get help.
  • Offer reassurance that things will get better. When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. Reassure the person that these feelings are temporary, and that with appropriate treatment, he or she will feel better about life again.
  • Encourage the person to avoid alcohol and drug use. Using drugs or alcohol may seem to ease the painful feelings, but ultimately it makes things worse — it can lead to reckless behavior or feeling more depressed. If the person can’t quit on his or her own, offer to help find treatment.
  • Remove potentially dangerous items from the person’s home, if possible. If you can, make sure the person doesn’t have items around that could be used to commit suicide — such as knives, razors, guns or drugs. If the person takes a medication that could be used for overdose, encourage him or her to have someone safeguard it and give it as prescribed.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/suicide/MH00058/NSECTIONGROUP=2

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It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting the person who has it that matters and never for a moment think that someone who has expressed their despondency to you won’t act on the threat. That is a regret that has saddled me and my children every day for the last 17 years. So, just in case, why not jot down the link below for the IASP, and keep it in a special place in your address book or your smart phone! You never know when you may be called upon to save a life……perhaps even your own!

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International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP)

Need help? Don’t know where to turn?

For information on where to find the help you need click the link below and then click on the continent where you live!

http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV

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During this most blessed season of the year, please remember the millions of our brothers and sisters  who continue to suffer from the effects of Superstorm Sandy. Give as much as you can, as often as you can to the following group. Your gift might just mean a family who has lost everything might just have something to smile about this Christmas!

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Staten Island Gift Cards For Relief
~
or

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Copyright © 2011-2012 “MandysPath” Ministry

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About Mandy Bruscella

Mandy's Story: As a Registered Professional Nurse with Certification in a number of specialties including home care, I was afforded the opportunity of working closely with various Social Service Agencies in NY and NJ. ~ A lifelong Christian, I was ordained as a Presbyterian deacon in 1993 and, after relocating to SC in 2000, elected to become ordained as a non-denominational minister. ~ I established "MandysPath" Ministry in 2011. "MandysPath" Ministry is a member of Pacific Life Church, El Sobrante, CA, network of ministries. ~ I direct an outreach ministry in an alternative setting, providing spiritual care to a congregation of more than 500 people from around the world via the Internet. ~ As part of this outreach, I write a daily faith based blog. In March, 2012 I was asked to become a board member of Heroes For Children which is a non-profit foundation, established to assists the Guardian ad Litem program of Horry County, SC. Guardians ad Litem are a group of court appointed advocates who represent the best interests of children in Family Court proceedings involving allegations of abuse or neglect. Working closely with these men and women who make a difference in the lives of children, I completed training and have been sworn in to serve as a Guardian ad Litem for the state of South Carolina . ~ I have been married since 1975 to a wonderful man, Daniel. I have a son Daniel and his wife Melissa who live in NYC. My daughter Sabrina and my grandson Landon live here in SC. ~ My father Harold continues to share his wisdom with me and is responsible for many of the ideas I write about!

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