Thought For The Day 10/29/13

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And The Two Shall Be As None?

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Fighting_parents

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“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.” 

Mahatma Gandhi

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/fighting

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It is amazing how what once tied two hearts together can somehow come loose from its mooring over the years. And there is nothing that can be so absolutely toxic and destructive to a relationship than fighting with the one person on the face of the earth who knows your deepest fears and anxieties and weaknesses. But that is exactly what happens every year to about 4 million people in the United States alone. Yes, in 2011, there were approximately 2 million divorce decrees entered through our judicial system! And I am struck by how, in the blink of an eye we can morph from “and the two shall be as one” to “and the two shall be as none”!

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When we meet the one who seems our perfect match, we begin building a relationship one with the other. We use our life experiences and add to them our hopes and dreams for the future, and what is begun is a framework for a life together. And over time, as we add layer upon layer of our shared joys, life experiences and successes, what should be formed is a structure so cohesive and strong, that nothing can tear it down. Just as a successful sports team can not win the championship without working as a team, so is marriage a team. And should you think this concept of teamwork is a new one…..well, think again. 1 Corinthians 1:10 NIV, describes exactly this concept and it was written by Paul the Apostle half way through the first century of our history!  “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.”

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Now while there is no magic formula we can ingest or apply that will repair all things domestic and make our union with another a successful union, ask most counselors, and they will say three little (actually not so little when you really think about them) words that are the key to successful relationships….whether they are a committed union or merely a friendship! COMMITMENT, COMMUNICATION and COMPASSION!

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  1. COMMITMENT is the part we promise when we exchange our vows in front of our family and friends. We promise that we will withstand the days when nothing goes right, or the month the roof leaks or the months when our bills exceed our income. And how? We work as a team and even if we can’t fix the things that go wrong, we will endure them as a united and committed couple, each leaning on the other for support!
  2. COMMUNICATION is the loosening up of our hearts so that we are able to share our answer with the one we love because we have allowed the question to be asked! We have listened carefully, thought about the words just as carefully, and examined and shared our heartfelt views without fear of being chastized! We will not allow our fears to cripple the lines of honest and heartfelt sharing….an absolute that needs to be carefully and tenderly nurtured.
  3. COMPASSION, the last, but certainly not least tool we need in sustaining our relationships, allows us the empathy to “walk a mile” in the moccasins of  those we care about. Relationships that are worth investing in are those where we realize that faults will abound because that is our human nature. And when we allow our hearts to forgive another for a wrong, whether intentional or unintentional, it is then that the hurt eases and the wound begins to heal. And it is not our partner we will heal by this gesture, but ourselves! 

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Think once more about the promises made to the one you love…whether last week, last month, last year or 50 years ago. Friends and family witnessed these promises made…“for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health”. Few people realize that these words are as telling as they are, but then start thinking about a lifetime of togetherness. You see, whether we admit it or not, at some point or another, we will, as life’s partners, be with and without money; we will be facing times of operations as aging bodies deteriorate, rather than the healthy life we were blessed with during our early years together; and we will all experience better but with an equal amount of worse thrown in to keep us humble! Yes, promises that speak volumes about how hard sharing hearth and home can be. But I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t miss this roller coaster ride for all the money in the world, as long as I get to ride it with the man God made just for me, at my side!

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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

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Copyright © 2011-2013 “MandysPath” Ministry

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About Mandy Bruscella

Mandy's Story: As a Registered Professional Nurse with Certification in a number of specialties including home care, I was afforded the opportunity of working closely with various Social Service Agencies in NY and NJ. ~ A lifelong Christian, I was ordained as a Presbyterian deacon in 1993 and, after relocating to SC in 2000, elected to become ordained as a non-denominational minister. ~ I established "MandysPath" Ministry in 2011. "MandysPath" Ministry is a member of Pacific Life Church, El Sobrante, CA, network of ministries. ~ I direct an outreach ministry in an alternative setting, providing spiritual care to a congregation of more than 500 people from around the world via the Internet. ~ As part of this outreach, I write a daily faith based blog. In March, 2012 I was asked to become a board member of Heroes For Children which is a non-profit foundation, established to assists the Guardian ad Litem program of Horry County, SC. Guardians ad Litem are a group of court appointed advocates who represent the best interests of children in Family Court proceedings involving allegations of abuse or neglect. Working closely with these men and women who make a difference in the lives of children, I completed training and have been sworn in to serve as a Guardian ad Litem for the state of South Carolina . ~ I have been married since 1975 to a wonderful man, Daniel. I have a son Daniel and his wife Melissa who live in NYC. My daughter Sabrina and my grandson Landon live here in SC. ~ My father Harold continues to share his wisdom with me and is responsible for many of the ideas I write about!

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