Would of…..Should of…..Could of…..
The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four. Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye.
I woke up sometime in the wee hours of the morning with such a profound thought about something I needed to write in this blog that I sat bolt upright in bed. The idea was clear, concise and profound and I just knew it would be the perfect theme to think about and describe in a blog. Now, usually when this happens, it is as if the memory has somehow been permanently affixed in my mind. For example, when I dream and I remember the dream, I remember colors and people and conversations and places just as vividly as if I were visiting some magical vacation destination whose image forever paints a masterpiece for my memory.
At one time I “efforted” the process of recollections of these thoughts by keeping pad and pen at my bedside. But, alas, one of my 4 legged, furry bairns, lives for all things left around. I have seen him steal a roll of toilet paper and carry it around the house, prepared to begin some feline game of play that I, myself, was accused of perpetrating as a young teen, when I decorated the yard of a neighboring home one “Mischief Night”. As a matter of fact, once, in the middle of the night, Salem (a highly appropriate name for my feline el Diablo), somehow managed to unlock my cell phone and actually dial the Vets office. (I have absolutely no idea how it happened but when I woke up, something made me check my mobile and my call log recorded a phone call to Kindcare Animal Hospital made around 2 AM. It wasn’t me, that much I do know. I checked with the office and sure enough, their answering machine recorded my incoming call. And, fortunately, nothing untoward was recorded!) Since my cat, Misty, never gets on the night table and the dogs were crated…..well, enough said! That event heralded a period when I began finding all manner of strange bedfellows buried beneath the blankets. AND, it was the day I made sure EVERYTHING would find its place, hidden from Salem, before I retired for the night! But, as I said, earlier, this was no common or ordinary thought that caused such an extraordinary reaction. There would be no way I could possibly forget it…….right? WRONG! I have no more idea than the man in the moon what it was I wanted to say! I have struggled and pondered and nothing….nada….
How many of you all have had moments like the one I had? Have you ever said, I intended to do something that would make a difference? Or how about, I wanted to do something and make a difference? But, alas, something happened to trip up what were our best intentions. Or, even better still, perhaps you did act on something only to discover that, despite your best intentions, things still did not work out quite the way you wanted them to or hoped they would! This was not some huge sin of bad intentions run amok. You did not intend to cause hurt or pain to anyone. You did not want your actions (or inactions, for that matter) to cause any one any distress. And then the “Aha” moment arrives for us….the time arrives when we realize that we are not super human. We are NOT God!
We can not, nor should we even try, to be everything to everyone! And even better yet, sometimes the onus of responsibility is not ours to bear in the first place. We can not always know how someone we are interacting with will react to our attempt at intervention. Sometimes we lack the wisdom or talents or knowledge we need to actually master or complete the task at hand. But rather than beat ourselves up for our mistakes or our wanting, perhaps it’s time we actually look at them and put them into perspective. Try asking the following questions:
- Does this mistake or omission really have the ability to entirely change the direction our path in our life is taking?
- Has our mistake forever changed the lives of others who interact with us?
- Has our mistake or omission somehow caused us to lose touch with our faith or love for our Almighty Father?
- What can we learn from this experience so that we do not find ourselves quoting the old proverb whose author is unknown, but whose origin is claimed by nearly every ethnicity known to man, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!”
“Perhaps the LORD will take note of my troubles and return good to me instead of curses today!”
2 Samuel 16:12 ISV
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