Thought For The Day 07/11/14

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Forgiveness

Thought 1215

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Forgiving is rediscovering the shining path of peace that at first you thought others took away when they betrayed you. 

Dodinsky

Founder, The Garden of Thoughts

http://www.livelifehappy.com/forgiving-is-rediscovering-the-shining-path/

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Probably the three most difficult words that can be uttered in human speech are the words…. I Forgive You! Now they are probably easier spoken when they are directed at another person but even when the person you are forgiving is yourself, it is a must for the preservation of our mental and emotional health. To forgive does not mean to forget but rather, provides a release of the burdens that weigh so heavily on your heart, that to move forward with your life is so difficult it feels a bit like wading through a swimming pool filled with molasses. To forgive does not remove responsibility for the commission of a hurtful act, nor does it stop the pain or grief felt when we are hurt. Rather, forgiveness is our promise to another or to ourselves that we are giving up our feeling of resentment toward or the desire to punish or lash out at the offending party. Forgiveness allows us to heal and allows the person being forgiven the power to effect positive change.

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I decided to look at some of the resources available to see if there is a process we can utilize to help us as we work to forgive. Most articles I read listed from between 7 and 13 steps in the process to forgive. However, I found some common threads that seemed to appear over and over again in my readings and I realized that there are really just 4 steps needed as we work through the process to learn to forgive:

  1. Acknowledge pain and hurt – Verbalize to someone, let your emotions out, and don’t apologize for them.
  2. Relive and reflect –  Try to understand what part of the hurt you feel is the piece primarily causing you to remain angry or resentful.
  3. Work it out – Concentrate on getting rid of the anger that you are harboring. For some people, praying and mediating can help. Think of the blessings that exist in your life and acknowledge that ridding yourself of those negative burdens benefits everyone in your life.
  4. Renounce the anger – Understand that forgiving is not forgetting and be prepared for the possibility that your anger can come back. Make a plan for working through those setbacks.

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Be a catalyst to others having difficulty with forgiveness. Share the things you’ve learned through your own experiences and be willing to teach others the skill of forgiveness. But most importantly, be empathetic. Often the ability to reach the point when forgiveness can occur is simply having a sympathetic shoulder to lean on in times of tribulation.

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For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

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Mandy 2014

Copyright © 2011-2014 “MandysPath”

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About Mandy Bruscella

Mandy's Story: As a Registered Professional Nurse with Certification in a number of specialties including home care, I was afforded the opportunity of working closely with various Social Service Agencies in NY and NJ. ~ A lifelong Christian, I was ordained as a Presbyterian deacon in 1993 and, after relocating to SC in 2000, elected to become ordained as a non-denominational minister. ~ I established "MandysPath" Ministry in 2011. "MandysPath" Ministry is a member of Pacific Life Church, El Sobrante, CA, network of ministries. ~ I direct an outreach ministry in an alternative setting, providing spiritual care to a congregation of more than 500 people from around the world via the Internet. ~ As part of this outreach, I write a daily faith based blog. In March, 2012 I was asked to become a board member of Heroes For Children which is a non-profit foundation, established to assists the Guardian ad Litem program of Horry County, SC. Guardians ad Litem are a group of court appointed advocates who represent the best interests of children in Family Court proceedings involving allegations of abuse or neglect. Working closely with these men and women who make a difference in the lives of children, I completed training and have been sworn in to serve as a Guardian ad Litem for the state of South Carolina . ~ I have been married since 1975 to a wonderful man, Daniel. I have a son Daniel and his wife Melissa who live in NYC. My daughter Sabrina and my grandson Landon live here in SC. ~ My father Harold continues to share his wisdom with me and is responsible for many of the ideas I write about!

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